Every parents in the world must admit that parenting is not an easy job. It is never ending job and it does not only involve discipline your child, but also teaching him how to manage or control his emotions. Emotion coaching means helping children with their emotional development, first by helping them to understand their own emotions and second, for parents to reach appropriately to those emotions. Remember, children learn and imitate their parents!
Talk with your child
I make it a habit to ask my little gal how she feels every day. “How are you today”. Now she has started to ask me “How are you today?” after picking her up from school. When she speaks I give my full attention. Be in tune with her emotion, I learn to know how she feels, i.e. angry, sick, sad or happy.
Answer the questions
Being a 3 years old preschooler, little gal will constantly ask me a lots of questions. I always give my best to answer them and try not to dismiss or tell her to stop bothering me with more questions. Yes, sometimes it can be irritating if she keeps asking the same questions or funny questions, but it is part of her learning skill. If I dismiss or ask her to stop, it will only instill fear in her to ask questions and destroy her enthusiasm for learning.
When mistakes are made
When my gal makes mistake, I will point out to her the mistakes and assure her that it is okay to feel bad about it. Reminding her not to make the same mistakes and why she should not be doing them. Avoid scolding your child as it will causes him to become fearful. He does not learn how to rectify the problem and will soon repeat the same mistake, he scolded again and end up thinking he would never get it right!
Feelings, good or bad are acceptable but not all behaviours are acceptable. For example, my little gal may be angry with her dad for not buying her a toy and start to hit him. This is unacceptable. She has the right to be angry and sad with her dad, but she should not be hitting his dad. What should I do instead? Telling her to respect her dad's decision. Showing her that she may not need that toy that much and she cannot always gets what she wanted all the time. Telling her what is right and what is wrong are important and it helps a child to find solutions to her problem.