Saturday, February 23, 2008

A sense of loneliness


It is not that I never been in such state before. Each time, my heart is heavy and just doesn’t feel right about everything. I feel like a small kitten trap in a big cage with no way out! Oh no! Now you are wondering what is wrong with me!!

Sorry if I freak you out, but I always have this feeling of loneliness each time hubby is away. Yes, his work requires him to be away either for seminar, training or other bank branches meeting. So this weekend he has been away again. He is in West Malaysia this time round, flew over yesterday morning and be back tomorrow night. I guess at this posting time, he should have already reached Melacca from KL. So nice for him, work cum leisure. Yes, I know it is only 3 days, but I feel like 3 years apart!

I remember the first time he went traveling, I cried myself out! Gosh! It was pretty embarrassing, but who cares! A wife missing her husband, it is not sinful, right? It doesn’t make sense to me why I felt that way, because I know that hubby is going away due to work. But inside I know I were reluctant to see him go and me been alone in the house. The first time he was away was when I was pregnant. That time I feel like moving back to my parents’ house to look for some comfort and familiar environment there! *laugh*

As time passes, I have get used to such feelings. For the past one year, he has been away for not less than 4 times if I am not mistaken. There has been Thailand, China, KL and KK. The longest been last August when he was in China for more than a week.
Each time he is going away, I will try my best to keep my cool and don’t tear in front of him. Now with little gal as my companion, I am not that lonely. So the time apart from hubby is not that miserable…

Little gal and myself will be going back to my parents’ house this evening after I clock out from work at 5.00pm. Yes, working full day today as it is my turn to be management on duty (MOD). We would be staying over for a night. At least I don’t feel that lonely on a Saturday night and little gal would be able to enjoy herself in the company of her grandparents. She kept asking me to go back to her “kung kung po po house” anyway. *wink*

2 comments:

Hye said...

Hi Rose,

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bluedreamer27 said...

hello rose gheeeh you know iam also always in a state of despair most of the time
due to im alwyas in the steate of solitude gheeeh they always went out and leaving me alone in our house then ofcourse i do also have a problems and if you combined these two alone and lone gheeeh i dont know what to do