Selfish & tired

That is what I feel and have been described lately. What is actually happening here?

Since I operated my shop a month ago, my house is like a hotel to me. In the morning I would go out from the house around 8am and only come back after 10pm at night every day. Send my girl to school then drop Baby Jay at baby sitter's house, do some banking transactions and have breakfast before going to the shop. My time would be in the shop, 12 hours a day. Only when hubby is free, he will take it over from me, and I can do some household chores or take care of the kids. However, I feel I hardly have enough times with the kids and hubby. Sometimes I do not have dinner. Bored of eating the take away food or just could not think of what to eat. Other days peanut butter sandwiches or buns would be good to fill up my empty stomach. Lol!

Food is not my topic today. I feel sad at been called "selfish" by my hubby. He is accusing me of neglecting the kids and forgetting things since I have my shop. Our understanding before this is that he will help in any way and that include looking after the kids at night. Now he is complaining that he does not have times to do his work and meeting friends or customers at night. Sigh!

I know it is hard for him (a man) to look after the kids. He is looking after them during Sunday too. But I have to say he is doing good job although at first, I were little doubtful. The bonding between hubby and Baby Jay is much stronger now as I can see that baby is very much attached to hubby than me. Btw, Baby Jay starts make sound like "dada". I guess he is calling his daddy first instead of mummy?

I am not saying that I have problem with my hubby but lately we hardly talk. By the time I get to bed, I am just too tired to talk. No time to ask about our days. No more huggings and kisses unlike the first year of dating and marriage. Hubby been a sensitive person is complaining that I do not care about him etc. Gosh! I know something must done to improve our relationships and same time, juggle my times between my shop and family. I can only do it once my workers are better trained and I able to leave the shop in their hand. However for time being, still some things to sort out before I can trust them to manage the shop for me without my supervision.

Sorry for the ranting, I just need a place to release my tension. Maybe I should give in some time tonight to have a chat with hubby. I actually miss chatting with him. Ok, I will do it. I need to discuss with him on the time divide between the kids and shop. Counting down to close my shop for the day. Sigh!